Babe, Wake Up, New Pope Just Dropped | When I saw the white smoke emerge from the live chimney cam I was watching at my desk this afternoon, I thought it could go one of two ways: We get a woke pope — either Tagle or Zuppi — and the TikTok hive goes wild, or we get a non-woke pope, and the vibe instantly darkens. But I didn’t anticipate the third option: An American pope who informally goes by the name “Bob.”  They didn’t even give this guy a spot on the Conclave character comparisons list! He’s a total dark horse from the South Side of Chicago who may or may not have watched The Bear on Hulu. Nobody knows what Cardinal Robert Prevost’s — henceforth known as Pope Leo XIV — deal is, beyond him having a math degree from Villanova and a Twitter account. “Might he become a warrior pope like John Paul II, delivering hope to the oppressed? Or will he define and clarify faith as the scholarly Benedict tried to do? Or will he continue the ways of Francis, whose compassion spoke louder than dogma? Or will he try to bring all three legacies together?” asks Howard Chua-Eoan. “Like all newly elected leaders, Leo will get a honeymoon period as people ponder what he might do with his pontificate as I just have,” writes Howard. “Apart from the goodwill the public gifts fledgling leaders for a brief period, Leo has an additional advantage as he assumes his office: the charisma of the modern papacy.” Before John XXIII, who blossomed with the advent of TV, popes weren’t pop culture sensations. But now, in large thanks to Pope Crave, the Vatican has the public’s attention like never before. Mark Gongloff says Pope Leo could put those eyeballs to good use. Having previously said the world must move “from words to action” on climate change, he could follow in Pope Francis’ footsteps and become a champion for a greener planet. It’s what Lori Lightfoot — and the Lord, I imagine — would want. It’s possible that President Donald Trump is huffing and puffing around the White House right now. Not because he didn’t get chosen as pope, but because his “extraordinary” and “comprehensive” trade deal with the UK got one-upped by a baby seagull and a bajillion memes. But on second thought … maybe Trump is jumping with joy?? After all, a made-in-the-USA pope does make it seem like his trade war is producing tangible results. Lol. The internet is really having too much fun today. Although I’d love nothing more than to opine on the dietary preferences of the 267th pope — Can they make Vienna Beef in Vatican City?? Are the marg towers before or after mass? — the trade war doesn’t wait for anyone, not even a pontiff who frequents Portillo’s. While Robert Burgess, Lionel Laurent and Marcus Ashworth feel the new UK-US trade pact is a bit of a nothingburger, Allison Schrager says “markets are desperate for good news about tariffs.” Hence, why Bitcoin topped $100,000, the S&P 500 jumped 1.4% and the Russell 2000 added 2.4% after Trump announced the new trade framework. Does this mean we can stop worrying about recession indicators? Allison is cautiously optimistic, but even if we somehow manage to escape a textbook recession, our wallets will still be in pain. Looking at the auto industry, Liam Denning says “there’s little in the way of a silver lining for Detroit.” Unlike the pandemic, Trump’s tariffs have created a “self-inflicted supply shock.” Although some shoppers flocked to dealerships in March and April to get ahead of that disruption, Liam says the jolt in sales won’t last for long. “Half the US market consists of imported vehicles. Suppliers expect to pass on most of their tariff exposure to manufacturers and they will undoubtedly pass them along in turn to drivers,” he writes. On the bright side, at least Javier Blas says oil is cheap! Brent crude hit a four-year low this week, hovering around $60 a barrel. That’s gotta be a good thing for gas prices, right?? Hahaha, wrong: “The bear market in crude has had virtually no effect, as yet, on prices at the pump,” writes John Authers. He calls the phenomenon “very unusual,” which probably isn’t what Trump, who desperately wants cheap gas, wants to hear. Looking ahead to the weekend, US and Chinese officials will meet in Switzerland to (hopefully, fingers crossed!) thaw trade tensions. “Dragging out the fight would only fuel ill will, make difficult negotiations that much harder, and cause needless suffering in both countries and beyond,” writes Bloomberg’s editorial board. “Far better to start salvaging the relationship now.” If 133 cardinals can choose a pope in one day and 27 minutes, two countries should be able to come to a consensus, too. Bonus Trade Reading: The inking of a new India-UK trade deal shows globalization is chugging along, with or without America. — Mihir Sharma | 
