This week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ is about how Apple plans to raise the price of an iPhone by $275 because of the AI-driven crunch in memory chip prices. Send me your entry — to haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET today, for consideration by your Cheddar peers. (Don’t worry if you get a bounce-back email. The mailbox is working, it’s just been inundated with haikus lately and the good people at Microsoft $MSFT ( ▼ 2.27% ) seem not to have figured out how to fix Outlook yet.) Perhaps I should write a haiku about that.

Now for crying out loud, can we hear about the news?

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News you Need2Know

What’s the stock market up to, eh?

$SPX ( ▼ 0.1% )   $DJI ( ▲ 0.35% )   $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )  

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$META ( ▼ 0.81% )   $KALSHI ( ▲ 13.0% )   $POLYMARKET ( ▲ 0.11% )  

Meta Predicts Success Copying Kalshi, Polymarket

With his share price still going down the toilet despite massive AI infrastructure investments, Mark Zuckerberg has unveiled his latest stroke of unparalleled corporate genius at Meta $META ( ▼ 0.81% ) : copying the cool kids. Since Kalshi $KALSHI ( ▲ 13.0% ) and Polymarket $POLYMARKET ( ▲ 0.11% ) have become some of the internet's fastest-growing destinations, Zuckerberg has predictably decided he wants in on the action. Enter “Arena,” Meta’s totally original, stand-alone prediction market app which is currently “in development,” according to the New York Times. I assume he named it after Teddy Roosevelt’s quote about credit going to the man there.

For now, insiders claim the app will just use a "video-game-like points system," but they conveniently haven't ruled out the eventual use of real-money betting prediction contracts. What could possibly go wrong when a social media giant decides to gamify world events?

Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) is clearly thrilled about this philanthropic endeavor. He warmly told the Times, “Meta copied slot machines to addict kids to Instagram. Now Zuckerberg is turning his company into a prediction market.” Blumenthal further commended Meta’s unwavering dedication to “profiting from addiction.”

It takes true innovation to look at a cultural phenomenon that has already sparked intense legal scrutiny over insider trading and think, "Yes, let's clone that!” 

Still, two-to-one it’s launched by the end of the summer.

Quote of the day

Introducing the $25k EV Truck… Want One?

Are you tired of modern cars with their fancy "radios" and "power windows"? Do you long for the days when ordering a drive-thru burger required an aggressive forearm workout just to roll down the glass? You’re in luck! Slate Auto, a startup backed by some guy called Jeff Bezos, is launching a two-seat, all-electric pickup for just $24,950.

That’s right. For one-ten-thousandth-of-one-percent of Bezos’ net worth, you can buy a truck whose “luxuries” have been stripped away, like actual car paint, radios, and electric windows. Instead of an infotainment system, you get a dashboard mount for your smartphone. They almost axed the AC, too, until customer feedback forced them to focus on what “actually matters to drivers,” apart from price, according to Slate's head of engineering, Eric Keipper.

CEO Peter Faricy remains wildly optimistic about his bare-bones truck, insisting, “A U.S. automaker can make an affordable vehicle—and not only an affordable vehicle, but an affordable vehicle that people love.”

Industry analysts aren't so sure about the spartan experiment. Erin Keating told the Wall Street Journal, “It feels like a big stretch that this particular vehicle is going to be appealing outside of any niche audience.” Meanwhile, analyst Robby DeGraff brutally concluded that “it’s going to be really hard for some people to look at.” 

My sense is they will sell like hot cakes.

Aircon Becomes Politically Divisive in Europe

My friend Billy lives in Northeastern Italy. He stuck a thermometer out in the sun yesterday just to see what the temperature was, and it turns out, it’s half-way to boiling there on the Celsius scale, or about 122 Fahrenheit:

And it turns out that neighboring France now has a new summer tradition: Sweating through extreme heatwaves while politicians argue about air conditioning, reports the Financial Times.

As temperatures soar past 40C, the far-right National Rally has aggressively championed the AC unit. Leader Marine Le Pen declared, “It is absurd to have people die because of the heat,” promising a “massive air-conditioning plan” for vulnerable populations if elected. Her colleague, Jean-Philippe Tanguy, even claimed that AC has long been an “ideological taboo imposed by the left.”

On the other side of the aisle, the left is, er… sweating… the environmental costs. Far-left leader Jean-Luc Mélenchon fired back at Le Pen's proposal, arguing, “Absolutely not. Installing air conditioning everywhere would only mean increasing the damage.” Similarly, the Green Party labeled individual AC a “maladaptive response” that burdens the electricity grid, though Green leader Marine Tondelier later clarified there is “no taboo” against cooling, it just isn't a panacea.

While politicians bicker, citizens are melting, and even left-wing officials are bowing to the heat. Paris Mayor Emmanuel Grégoire recently unlocked emergency funds, promising, “There will be an AC unit delivered to every school in Paris by the end of next week.” 

Presumably, of course, the weather will have cooled off a touch by then. Britain recorded record temperatures of 35 degrees Celsius yesterday, too, and most of my mates back home are steadfast in keeping their upper lips stiff and their air unconditioned. Fools.

Song of the day: Bun Xapa and ZIDDO, ‘Looking for Change’

This is an atmospheric, moving South African electronic dance music track. Just don’t start talking like Leonard DiCaprio in “Blood Diamond” because I mentioned South Africa once in passing, eh, bru?

Oil Traders On Edge Over Shaky Iran Ceasefire