| Adapted from an online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: My brother and his wife recently welcomed a baby girl weeks early, and she’s been in the NICU since then. I imagine they’re in hell. They also have a toddler and had to scramble for overnight care so my brother could be in the hospital. Now he’s back home and largely single-parenting and trying to perform adequately at work. I help from a distance (we live in different states), send meals where possible, etc. The problem is my mother, who lives near me and who is crazy with worry. She can be a very stressful person when she’s anxious, and she’s driving my brother nuts. She has a million unhelpful suggestions about what they need to do, many of which she shares with me, and even though I try to absorb all her nervous energy, she still calls my brother and pelts them at him, too. She really, REALLY wants to go care for my nephew, but my brother is resisting it because it would make him even more nuts, I’m sure. Plus my sister-in-law has put down a firm boundary that she does not want houseguests right now or excess germs. So now almost every day, I have my mother calling me to wail about her grandbaby, and then my brother calling me to rant about our mom. Of course I also worry, but I’m also caring for kids of my own and feel like everyone’s punching bag right now. Is there anything I can do to chill my mom out? Even though I don’t think I’d be calm, either, if my grandchild’s health were on the line. — Everyone’s Punching Bag | 
